It’s not Cruelty if you call it a “Prank”
There is no pursuit more noble than that of pulling one over on your friends. There
is a special place in heaven for the men who’re willing to go above and beyond
the call of duty to make your friends so completely embarrassed, bamboozled, or
endangered that they can’t sleep at night. To that end, Swagger has compiled a list
of Pranks, tested or otherwise, that are sure to get your name etched in the history
books.
Prank #1. “Oh no, it’s the cops!”
Step 1: Encourage your mark to engage in an illegal activity, the more illegal the
trespass, the better for this exercise.
Step 2: Cajole a friend who’s a boy in blue, or someone willing to dress as such, to
“bust in”. Even the most horrible of disguises will work wonders on your victim.
The important thing to do is allow for your mark to have means to make an escape.
9 out of 10 will flee it if somebody yells, “Run for it”.
Step 3: Wait for reality to set in, and for the mark to realize the sting, or for him to
call you from a payphone the next town over.
Prank #2: The Wheels Fall Off.
*This doesn’t work with 4-wheel drive vehicles, so be wary!
Nothing tops off a long night of drinking than having your car break down the
morning after. Make sure your mark is good and toasted enough that the hangover
will be ferocious, and then set to work. Boost his car up on jacks, remove the back
or front tires, (make sure it’s parked in such a way as to make the affected end less
visible) and wait for them to spend a good half hour trying to figure out why their
car won’t move. So much the better if they’re “Car” guys.
Prank #3. The Biggest Loser
An instant classic for anyone you know who’s bound and determined to win the
lottery. Wake up really really early the date of a big draw, find out the numbers,
and go to work with Photoshop printing out a counterfeit winner. It doesn’t have to
look perfect at all, once they’ve seen the numbers they’re willing to suspend all sorts
of disbelief. Follow them as they call their mom, visit a Porsche dealership, and
finally tell their boss what they really think of him. You are of course obliged to do
some measure of damage control, but the real fun is watching your mark self-inflict
wounds. There’s a lesson to be learned here right?
And if nothing about this list turns your crank, keep these helpful tips in mind –
Coffee mate is insanely flammable, one single adult pig contains roughly the same
amount of blood as a person, and the address of the American consulate in Tijuana
is:
Paseo de las Culturas s/n
Mesa de Otay
Delegación Centenario C.P. 22425
Tijuana, Baja California
Go to it, gentlemen. If you’re friends feel safe around you, you’re doing something
wrong.
More Pranks
