Everybody knows that communication is critical when it comes to conveying ideas, exchanging information, and getting a point across. However, there are different ways to communicate that are more effective than others.
Furthermore, communication in the boardroom or with buddies at the ball game is a completely different type of conveyance than communicating with a romantic partner. While there are no hard-and-fast relationship rules when it comes to verbal exchanges with a partner, there are some healthy ways to talk to your mate effectively.
With this in mind, here are some helpful communication tips for men that can promote growth, intimacy and ultimately strengthen relationships.
Practice Active Listening
Listening is just as integral to achieving profound communication with your partner as talking is. However, as with any manner of exchanging information, there are different ways to listen. For instance, active listening is a conscious way of tuning into what your partner is saying. It requires you to purposefully observe both non-verbal and verbal messages from your mate while processing what is being conveyed.
Active listening also means you are prepared to provide meaningful, constructive feedback after receiving the information expressed. If this sounds complicated, it really isn’t. The main point of active listening is being fully engaged in what your partner is trying to convey. It’s an intensive, mature way of absorbing what is being said and making a concentrated effort to respond in mature, helpful ways.
Switch Your Pronouns
In heated discussions, it’s very tempting to pin blame on the other person by making statements such as “You did this wrong” or “You make me crazy.” While you might think these statements are totally accurate, saying it to your partner isn’t going to be very conducive to strengthening the relationship. Instead, try switching your pronouns.
To explain, think about what your partner does that is irksome and rephrase the statement like so, “I feel uncomfortable when I see you behaving in this way” or “I was thinking that this problem could have been solved differently.”
By taking ownership of the feelings by switching “you” with “I” you’re removing confrontational language as well as removing blame from the conversation. Furthermore, rephrasing your statements in a more thoughtful way puts you and your partner in a better position to communicate with better results.
Employ Empathy
Compassion is a social quality that doesn’t always come naturally. In fact, altruism, sensitivity to others, and empathy are often learned from those who raised us during childhood. In many instances, men learn to “be tough” from a young age. Therefore, the presence of empathy is often lacking when men try to relate or communicate with partners. At the Tantric Academy blog, you can read more about how to build a connection to your relationship.
That’s not to say that empathy can’t be cultivated. If you have a real problem expressing empathy, you might consider mentalization therapy. This is a type of therapy that provides a deeper understanding of emotions within yourself and your partner so that you can more easily identify (empathize) with the feelings surging through the relationship.
Manage Your Anger
Everyone is different, but men are often criticized for being too quick to anger in heated circumstances. This is understandable, as men are typically taught to be protective or present themselves as a strong authority. Unfortunately, most men don’t realize that yelling or getting angry is the weakest point of strength.
There are many ways to convey power and integrity without using anger, violence, or threats. If you have issues with rage in your relationship, you might want to look into anger management or a support group. You can also try stabilizing your emotions with therapeutic exercises such as yoga or meditation. Both of these practices are known to reduce stress and anxiety which are triggers for eruptions of anger in a relationship.
Walk it Out
Communication is at its best when approached with level heads and calm minds. Therefore, if the discussion with your partner is escalating into a full-on argument, think about taking a walk. By taking a “time out” you are effectively diffusing the heat of the conversation.
If you do walk away from the argument, let your partner know that you are not running away or avoiding the issue. Reassure your mate that you simply need to clear your mind and get some air so you can return to the conversation with a fresh perspective.
The Last Word on Communication in Relationships
Every relationship is different. However, all relationships need healthy communication in order to survive. Hopefully, these tips on communicating to strengthen your relationship will help you navigate your partnership more effectively.
