Get Back on the Horse
Tough Love for the Men without Swagger
Every so often a man should give himself a long look over in the plastic mirror., and decide
whether he likes what he sees. You measure your own success in this life, but you
should always be doing it honestly and excellently. There are as many ways to fuck
up as there are people, and we’re all guilty of bad decisions, but the one real truth of
a man’s life is that you’re ultimately judged by how you pick yourself up after a fall.
Time to pluck up and build a house of swagger where before there was none. Today
is the first day of the rest of your stand-up life, visit https://impressionsvanity.com/ to learn more.
Reclaiming your Manliness:
A Swagger Guide to Better Living
Always Pay your Debts
A fundamental Swagger principal is to never be leveraged by anybody, and never
use it over anyone else. Living beyond your means is the most dangerous form of
self-loathing ever invented, so very simply… Don’t. Nothing sours a friendship faster
than one owing the other money, and a credit card bill stuck on consumer spending
is a stupidity noose you hang around your own neck. Pay your bills on time, do what
you say you’ll do, and don’t make excuses, you’ll sleep a lot sounder at night and
you’ll hold your head higher.
Act your age not your Shoesize
With every respect to Matt Groening, fuck Homer Simpson. Every single image of
masculinity we see projected by the media is either groaning, tortured, vampire
underwear models/emergency room doctors, amoral criminals, or goddamn
simpletons. The image of “Tim the Toolman Taylor”, an unsophisticated, entitled,
goofball under the constant direction of his sympathetic, competent and eye-rolling
spouse is a poison we’ve pumped into the water supply for as long as there’s been
Televisions and it’s lowered the bar for everybody. Do not, Do Not, Do not look
to your television for role models. Keep your back straight, formulate educated
opinions, and remember John Wayne’s perfect advice: “Talk low, talk slow, talk
seldom”.
Groom
Keep your shit tight. Anywhere you are, be clean and be neat. It doesn’t need to be
fancy, in fact it’s a great deal more effective when it’s subtle, but being disheveled
and unkept is as measurably worse than being overdressed in every situation life
is going to throw at you. A clean-shaven man is a serious man, so leave the scruff
to actors and the guys at Starbucks in berets waiting to be recognized for their
genius. Strike a balance where you do it out of habit and not out of vanity, it’s the
clearest way to be judged for the quality of your work and thought instead of your
appearance.
Be Excellent to Each Other
It’s the golden rule for good reason, but just because it’s right doesn’t make
it easier. Treating everyone the way you expect to be treated sounds good on
paper, but in life it requires a constant sensitivity to your surroundings and real
genuine effort. You’re going to run into a lot of behavior in this world that you
don’t like or understand, and you’re likely to bump into all sorts of people in all
sorts of situations, and it’s always going to be better if you’re open minded. The
balance between acting on your values, letting people act on theirs and minding
your own business is the most careful one you’ll have to tend to. It’s the secret to
respectfulness, civility, and progress in any situation. Swagger is as much about
mindfullness as it is about success, so be cool and spread the love.
P.S Don’t forget your custom suit from Indochino
Written by: Jeremy P Beal
Image courtesy of Indochino
