If you’re a true risk-taker, the desire to play with fire might be difficult to satiate, even in bed. Luckily, BDSM has a solution for you, and it’s called edge play. Sexual empowerment begins with safe exploration, but be aware; this kink is not for everyone.
In this article, you’ll find all the basic information you need to know about edge play, how to do it safely, and a few examples to get you started.
What is Edge Play?
While edge play is easily confused with the practice of edging in which one partner is denied orgasm to prolong the arousal, both are very different concepts. Edgeplay can go wrong if both parties aren’t educated on possible consequences, which is why it’s called a risk-aware consensual kink.
Edgeplay is a sexual activity that pushes you beyond your limits and challenges you mentally and physically. Examples of edge play include:
– breath play
– blood play
– knife play
– wax play
– gun play
– fire play
– consensual non-consent
Every activity that comes with a risk of physical and emotional harm or even fatal consequences is considered edge play, but this can be very individual. For some people, light choking might be their limit and can be considered edge play, while others find it vanilla. If you want to try out this kink yourself, you have to consider what would push you out of your comfort zone and what your boundaries are.
Benefits of Edge Play
If you love adrenaline, you might be naturally attracted to the idea of engaging in a sexual activity that comes with emotional and physical risks. Here are other reasons edge play can be beneficial for you:
1. It might make you feel free
One of the great things about sex is that it grounds you in the present as you focus on the sensations and forget about the rest of the world. This doesn’t come easy for everyone, but if you incorporate emotions such as fear and anticipation into the play, letting go is much more natural and feels much more freeing.
2. It helps you get out of your comfort zone
Pushing yourself to the limits can help you feel mentally stronger and discover what you like in bed.
3. It increases trust between you and your partner
Edgeplay is a risk-aware consensual kink where both parties realize they might experience emotional and physical consequences. If you allow yourself to be this vulnerable with your partner, it can increase your bond and strengthen your relationship.
4. It makes things exciting in the bedroom
Trying new things in bed is always a plus, as novelty is associated with heightened desire. If your sex life has been stale, edge play can help you reignite the old fire.
How To Practice Edge Play Safely?
Edgeplay isn’t something that should be seen as just a role play. Because it can have an effect on mental and physical health, it requires both partners to be fully committed to the idea. In order to do that, both partners have to be aware of possible consequences and risks because only then they can fully consent. This is why the first step should be making sure that no one pushes their own boundaries unless they want to. Before you play out any scenarios, talk to your partner about your expectations, walk them through the scene you want to explore, and set boundaries. Lastly, agree on a safe word that both you and your partner can rely on if things become too much.
Secondly, get educated. Edgeplay isn’t something you want to do spontaneously because the consequences of making a mistake can be very serious. For example, if you’re considering blood play, you have to learn how to safely cut each other to avoid excessive blood loss and if you’re into breath play, your partner has to learn a safe way to restrict your oxygen. If you want to try out a scenario that can have an emotional impact, you should consider your mental health history. A good idea is also joining a kink community where you can read about other people’s experiences to make sure there’s nothing you missed.
Thirdly, remember to discuss possible outcomes, including worst-case scenarios. This will help you prepare an emergency plan if something goes wrong. For example, if you want to restrict your partner’s blood flow with a rope, make sure you have scissors at hand, and if you want to experiment with blood play, prepare a first aid kit.
The first time you try the edge play, make sure you take things slow. Don’t be afraid to interrupt the flow to tell your partner what’s working and what’s not. Spoiling the mood is much better than ending up injured or traumatized.
After the play, remember to take care of each other’s health. Since edge play can be mentally and physically exhausting, BDSM aftercare aims to relax and attend to your needs. Even though you might enjoy the fantasy in which your partner threatens you or humiliates you, you don’t know how this scenario might affect you until you’ve tried.
You’re likely to be left feeling vulnerable, which is why emotional aftercare is essential and should include stating what you liked and disliked about the scene, whether you’d want something done differently in the future, and discussing any negative emotions you might be experiencing.
Aftercare can also include cuddling and engaging in a vanilla activity with your partner that makes you feel loved and cared for. Depending on how physically intense the play was, you might also want to take care of your body by using a first aid kit, replenishing your sugar levels, or pampering yourself by having a bath.
Edge Play Ideas
The only person who can decide what your idea of edge play is you, but if you’re new to kinky sex in general, here are some ideas that can help you get started:
1. Breathplay
If you’re unfamiliar with breath play but enjoy being dominated, it’s one way you can start exploring edge play. Experiment with gentle choking, and if it feels like you could go a step further, educate yourself and your partner on how to perform the breath play safely.
2. Consensual non-consent
If you feel secure in your relationship and you and your partner have a strong bond, you can explore a consensual non-consent role play. This can trigger past trauma or unpleasant memories, so make sure you’re aware of possible emotional consequences.
3. Knife play
If you’re a thrill-seeker who gets turned on by the idea of being with someone who committed a crime, knife play is a good way to fulfill that fantasy. Your partner can start by simply cutting away your clothing or gently pressing it onto your skin before you move on to something more extreme.
4. Humiliation
If your partner is a good actor and you get aroused by dirty talk, humiliation is another concept you can explore. While it doesn’t pose physical harm, it might push you to your emotional limits so remember to only give it a go if your relationship has a strong foundation.