Online dating can be challenging to navigate, and it’s even more difficult to get through the process with your integrity intact. There’s a balance between getting what you want and remaining respectful and candid, regardless of what type of exchange you’re looking for.
There are steps to take and pitfalls to avoid when searching for that lucky person with whom you wish to spend your days (or nights). Here’s what you can do to find success in online dating.
Find the Right Site
The Tinder app has evolved from a tool for finding a casual hookup to a place people are looking for love. There are various sites targeted toward different groups, such as Christian dating sites, and even various gays site options for the LGBT community to find a match. Using the right site will improve your chances of finding what you want and ensuring that you don’t step on any toes.
Take some time to look at the pros and cons of various sites. Fortunately, you’re not limited to just one, so you can try out a few things and narrow down your options based on the outcomes you experience.
Be Honest and Polite
No good can come out of being the guy who goes online, sweet talks women, then makes a solid effort to tear down their self-esteem upon rejection. If you think a potential partner has nice hair, tell her. If she doesn’t respond, leave it alone. Don’t go making any grand claims about who you are or what you do, and don’t make lewd comments without invitation.
Another important aspect of being honest is indicating your intentions from the get-go. To find what you want, be honest and tell people what you want. If you’re looking for a hookup or casual relationship, make it clear from the get-go. If you’re looking for something long-term, say as much. Lying only hurts you in the long run.
Set Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for any successful relationship, whether it be with a partner, co-workers, family members or even yourself. Set boundaries for your foray into online dating. How many people are you willing to date at a time? What are you willing and unwilling to accept from a partner. For example, if you’re looking for a casual relationship and become attracted to a profile that indicates the person is looking for something long-term, do you take a chance or not?
Setting strong boundaries will give you a set of guidelines under which to operate during your online dating experience. It will help you identify when you need to distance yourself from a bad match or take a step back and re-evaluate your priorities and the way you conduct yourself.
Prioritize Comfort and Consent
Consent is a hot topic right now that is making a lot of men feel confused and hesitant about online dating. The hesitation is warranted and can even be considered a positive. That hesitation allows you to think about things critically and fully understand your rights and responsibilities. As Idris Elba said, the #metoo movement is only a concern if you have something to hide.
Consent should be enthusiastic and affirmative. If you detect any level of hesitation or discomfort in an intimate situation, back off or ask for clarification. Doing so protects the interests of both parties involved and avoids the potential for legal problems or trauma down the road.
Know Yourself
The key to successful online dating is knowing enough about yourself to be able to forge a healthy connection with someone else, regardless if it’s short or long term. Conduct yourself with integrity, be authentic, and let the good times roll.