BROAPP brings the fine art of sweet talk crashing down to Earth!
As much as we think Apple’s gotten a little too smug for their britches, they make a
valid point. In pretty well any situation you can come up with, from making bowling
reservations to fixing your Sea-Doo to figuring out how to break the hex that strange
Gypsy woman cursed you with last winter, there is indeed an app for that.
Case in point, BROAPP, brought to us by the good men at Factorial Products Pty. Ltd,
who have done us all the favor of automating our relationships.
As the better men amongst us have discovered, an important part of maintaining a healthy
relationship for any length of time is in the saying, and then repeating, of things that
really don’t need to be said at all. The banal chitchat, the “thinking of you” notes that
after the first month of dating somebody are reserved only when you’re angling for sex,
or about to get caught for something, are a woman’s lifeblood. She needs to be on the
receiving end of this sort of positive reinforcement on a regular schedule in order to not
start analyzing the last six months worth of conversations for something offensive you
might have said.
In a nutshell, BROAPP will send your significant other(s) a quick little text at decided
upon intervals, letting them know you’re thinking of them when all you’re actually trying
to do is live through rush hour or kill the evil 15 year-old on the other end of your COD
Deathmatch. BROAPP lets you pick from dozens of typical lovey-dovey phrases and is
even smart enough not to send them when it’s inappropriate (for instance, while you’re
both together, or while you’re in surgery).
Picture it; You’re boss just reamed you out for a late report that had absolutely nothing
to do with you, and then you sit on the train beside a guy who smells way too much
like urine and spends the entire trip touching your arm. Now you’re home, and your
significant other is waiting for you with a smile, dinner and the cute black thing that only
comes out on your birthday. Turns out it’s a great day, and all because BROAPP told her
you couldn’t wait to see her tonight. It pays for itself.
It’s easy to by cynical about this sort of thing, the inauthenticity of it all, but consider
Valentines Day: Millions of men shell out millions of dollars on exorbitantly priced roses
every February 14th for no other reason than it might make the women in their life happy.
It does, it does make them happy, nobody’s been able to explain why, but it does. You
didn’t grow the flowers, you didn’t whip up the Hallmark card, you just paid for it and it
works, why question that shit?
Now consider that women genuinely enjoy and even need the sort of attention BROAPP
offers even as we think it’s redundant. You can personalize it to your heart’s content, or
you can let it do the heavy lifting, but it’s still from you, from your phone, and it’s still
getting you the brownie points you need to keep a happy hen, as the fella says.
And of course, the BROAPP comes with a Girlfriend Intrusion Detector, preventing your
special lady friend from ever figuring out what exactly it does, because woe befall any
man who gets caught using this bad boy…
We know you want to try it: Get it here
or email this link ( http://bit.ly/1d1O7AW ) to your mobile device to download
