The Superbowl Season is upon us, but if you’re like us, your excitement for the big
day of commercials, bruh ha ha, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and … the football game
is tempered by the fact that your team didn’t make the cut. Whether your guys missed
by the skin of their teeth, or didn’t get anywhere near the post season (thanks for the
memories Christian Ponder) you’re going to have to root for either the Broncos or the
Seahawks come Sunday, ‘cause nobody likes a fence sitter.
So if you’re not a fan of Seattle or Denver, or even if you don’t know Jack about football
and just want to boost a horse in the race, we’re here to drive a stake through the heart of
your indecision.
The Narrative
Denver
The NFL loves its quarterbacks, and they don’t love any of them more than Peyton
Manning. He’s a stoic soldier who was scooped up by the Broncos after being
ignominiously let go by the team he had led for 13 years without missing a single game
until he had to take a year off to mend a broken neck. A stretch in which they only missed
the playoffs twice and took one Superbowl in ’06. If Payton wins he’s likely to retire as
one of the greatest of all time with this, his best season ever, where he set records for
most passing yards and most touchdowns.
Of course, there are other people on the team, including future Hall-of-Famer Tight End
Wes Welker, but the story of the playoffs thus far has been their Defense. Throughout
the season they were more or less an afterthought (you don’t need to be that great when
your quarterback is setting records left and right) but they made Philip Rivers and Tom
Brady look like complete toys in their Mile High homestead. They might just be the ones
deciding things come Sunday.
But yeah, Peyton.
Seattle
The only thing people are talking about in Seattle is Cornerback Richard Sherman, which
makes Richard by default the most famous cornerback of all time (with apologies to Dion
Sanders). He was disrespected by a rueful 49er and used the scoff to fuel his now-famous
rant that white people have described as “whoa”. It’s been blown out of proportion, but it
sums up what the Seahawks are kind of all about: Moxie.
They’re a young, powerful and defense-first gang of ballbusters (their backfield has
been dubbed the “Legion of Boom” (because who doesn’t love early nineties WWF
references?)). On the other end of the ball they’ve got the mutant Marshawn Lynch, who
should be at the top of the list of people you never want to be responsible for tackling,
Golden Tate, and Percy Harvin. Not too shabby.
But if you’ve been following football this year, you already know all this.
Maybe you’re a KC fan, and you’d rather eat glass then watch John Elway put on another
ring, or maybe you just hate Seattle, what with it’s rain and it’s music and it’s mountains.
In that case you’ve got your team picked for you, but if you’re still ambivalent about the
whole thing, here’s how it breaks down and how history will remember it: Do you want
the old horse to win one more championship, or do you like the new upstarts from a team
that’s never taken home the big prize?
Place bets now!
